We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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