with your own penis?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
