He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
