i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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