Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
