Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and she was petting her beer can
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
