So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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