Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
