I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
