Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
