Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize