dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
