Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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