is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
