i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
