Someone shit on the floor
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got inside last night via doggy door
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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