WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
