took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
