I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
