you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
