a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
