think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
