She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
