And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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