you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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