I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize