The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just had sex on a roof
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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