This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize