i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
