I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
