i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
