IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
