I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
