Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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