Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
