Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
