he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
