Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
