The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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