I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
