I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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