My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
