ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
