don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
