please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
