he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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