I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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