alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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