I wish i was in the wii world.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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