I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
