Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
