He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
