Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
