I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
