And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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