Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
