I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
