Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
